We’ve got three main aspects that make up our identity. You’ll see that it parallels Freud’s three parts of our psyche – the id, the ego and the super ego.
First we have what I call our “core identity.” That is the part of us that we are born with. It includes our personality, our gifts and talents, our experiences and subsequent subconscious beliefs in particular that are formed between the age of birth and around 5 years old. Everyone comes with a preset identity of how they think and process and communicate information. It’s like your blueprint identity that is the basic foundation and building blocks of who you are.
Second, we have what I call our “ego identity.” This is our outer mask we wear and the roles we play. It is associated with what we “do.” We go out into the world and portray ourselves as an entrepreneur, a teacher, a lawyer, a mom, a writer, etc. We invest a lot of energy into this aspect of our ego because it is that part of us that gets the majority of feedback and validation from the outside world. This identity forms over time and through our experiences, both conscious ones as well as subconscious ones – those subliminal messages we are exposed to.
And third, we have what you could call our “spiritual identity.” This is that part of us that is our inner knowing of why we are here, our soul’s purpose and the part of us that recognizes when we are on the right path. This is the part of us that falls in love at first sight, that jumps at opportunities with blind faith that it is the right thing to do, and inspires us to “climb that mountain” because it is there. It is the inner beacon that guides us and gives us direction and answers when life gets too confusing to figure out by trying to think our way to the answers.
So when you hear someone talk about being in “alignment” what they are referring to is when all these identities we each have in us are in harmony with one another. It is like the tower of rocks in the picture that are all connected and working together to create the structure.
When we are in alignment there is no inner conflict and each aspect of who we are compliments one another and there is a sense of peace and flow to our life. There are a number of different modalities and energy healing techniques that help us get in alignment – tapping (EFT) is but one of them. Other things people do are to meditate, journal, and yoga and dietary supplements.
What are you doing to align your identities? Are you making alignment a priority in our schedule? If not, what could be stopping you? Maybe that’s where you need to start? Would love your comments or questions.
Anxiety has unfortunately become a common, everyday feeling for many of us. It’s hard to go through a day without having a handful of anxious thoughts or fears invade your mind. Never before in history have our brains been asked to process more information than in the times we live in right now. The speed of information in which we have access to has caused many of us to be in sensory overload. It’s no wonder so many of us our feeling anxious and worried.
One way we have been able to measure anxiety is to see the changes in our brain waves when someone is feeling especially anxious. We have five types of brain waves occurring all the time in various intensity of frequency. These five brain waves are called gamma, beta, alpha, theta and delta. Anxiety is a sign that one or more of these brain waves are vibrating at too high of a frequency which can be caused by external or internal stimuli.
If you’re interested in reading more about brain waves here is an article that explains them in more detail.
Here are five ways to naturally slow down your brain waves to help you feel less anxious.
Yes, it might sound simple but you will be amazed at how much you can calm down your anxious feelings by just focusing on your breathing. Think of anxious thoughts as if they were an upset, scared little child inside your head and all they needed was something to distract them long enough to stop the momentum of their fear. When you focus on your breath you distract your consciousness and calm down not only your brain waves but in turn every system in your body starts to calm down as well.
If you want to take your breathing to the next level you can sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and focus only on counting your breaths. When a thought comes to mind, other than the counting, you simply acknowledge the thought, and go back to counting your breaths. Try to count to higher and higher numbers each time you have to start over. Or you can focus on a flickering candle or the hum of a fan. Anything that can keep your focus. One of the goals of meditation is to slow down your brain waves to a theta state which is where we are in our most relaxed state.
If you want add another dimension to your meditating experience you can listen to calming music while you meditate. Classical music is good for this as is listening to certain frequencies that are specifically calming for the brain. When we listen to certain frequencies, music included, it entrains our brain waves to match what we are listening to. The 528 hz frequency is an especially good one because of its healing nature. It’s a great one to listen to while you sleep too.
Any kind of mindful, rhythmic exercise is helpful to calming the brain and reducing anxiety. You can try walking meditations that incorporate music, breathing and physical movement. Yoga is another form of mindful exercise that requires focus on the body and breathing. But any form of exercise that increases your endorphins, gives the brain a rest and connects the mind and body will do the trick. The important thing is the exercise be an enjoyable experience for you and you look forward to doing it.
Worry is a specific kind of future oriented thinking that causes anxiety. Worry is actually a fear not about a specific event that could happen but is a projected fear of the emotions we will experience if that event does take place. What you need more than anything when you worry is to acknowledge the present moment and do things that ground you and help you feel safe right now. Journaling your present feelings and fears is a way to get them out of the mind and body. Your fears lose their control over you when they are reduced to words on paper.
Another great journaling exercise to is to go on a “gratitude rampage” and write everything that you can think of that you are grateful for in 5 minutes. The 5 minute time crunch forces your brain to use your heightened emotional state to channel that energy in a positive direction. This creates an uplifting mental momentum that you can continue once you put the pen down. Talk about an energy shifter. There’s nothing like filling your whole being with thoughts of gratitude and then focusing on the task at hand when you are coming from a state of appreciation.
Last but not least you can use EFT (tapping) as a way to express and release your thoughts and feelings. If you are feeling particularly anxious or worried it helps to ask questions as you tap, such as “what is the worse thing that can happen if such and such comes to pass?” Or, “what is the root cause for this scary thought?” Or, “what am I really afraid of?” Invite your subconscious to have a conversation with you and help you answer those questions. You might be amazed at the answers you get. There are many ways to use tapping to reduce anxiety. Not sure what tapping is? Read my blog here that explains it.
The bottom line is that anxiety and worry are states of mental stress that can be combatted and mitigated by becoming more mindful of needing to change your brainwaves and engaging in activities that help your brain slow down where it can more easily and gracefully perform its function and allow you to experience life from a more balanced state.
Are you a procrastinator? Do you notice that you habitually, or at least more than you’d like, put off doing certain tasks on your “to do” list? Have you ever thought about why you procrastinate?
There are actually many reasons for procrastinating. Here are some of mine.
Like most people I hate making mistakes. I hate failing even more. I know for a fact that in the past I haven’t done some things merely because I was afraid I’d do it wrong. God forbid someone thought I was stupid or incompetent. My tender little ego just couldn’t handle the judgement. I’m guilty of procrastinating because I didn’t feel confident about what I was doing.
Sometimes I put off doing something because I have this need to do it perfectly. I’m not afraid of failing, just failing to do it “just right.” For instance, I can put off writing because my perfectionism gets in the way. The words aren’t coming and if I can’t say it just exactly right, then I have a tendency to not write at all. So for me, procrastination is a sign of my perfectionism surfacing.
Sometimes I’ll put off doing something that is super important until the last minute like paying bills or doing some kind of accounting work. If I wait long enough, then I convince myself that it’s a much higher priority than anything someone else would want me to do for them. I rationalize that I haven’t got the time because what I’m doing is so much more important than other people’s wants and needs. This gets me out of having to do mundane chores because I’m engaged in a higher purpose activity. Procrastination is a sign of needing to feel like I’m doing something important.
Sometimes I put off doing work on a seemingly important goal. When I reflect back on that time period I realize the reason I wasn’t motivated was because it just wasn’t the right time. Part of me was ahead of myself. There was an order that needed to take place and intuitively I sense that, and hence my procrastination. That happened prior to writing my first book. I had this urge for years to write a book but I kept putting it off. My husband and I looked at buying a business and when that fell through all of a sudden the inspiration hit me and I my writing miraculously took off. Procrastination can be an intuitive feeling that guides you to do things in a certain order.
Procrastination can occur when we don’t want to have to tackle something alone. This usually happens when you have a huge, laborious chore to do, like cleaning the attic and you want company or some moral support as you tackle the project. The project doesn’t have to be difficult, just time consuming. I procrastinate because I want someone to do a chore with me to make it go faster.
Clock deadlines and doing something for someone else are great motivators. Some chores just need that extra kick in the backside to get us moving. We need something or someone outside ourselves to motivate us. It’s amazing how expecting house guests can motivate you to clean a closet. Sometimes we put off a chore because we need to feel the burn of the deadline lighting a fire under us. We need something outside ourselves to ignite that surge of adrenaline that we get when the 11th hour is upon us. Procrastination is a way to motivate ourselves, and by waiting until the last minute it gives us the energy to do them.
Procrastination can also be a passive aggressive way of controlling others. By making them wait they might become so frustrated they end up offering to do the job for you. Kids are notorious for doing this as well as many adults. It’s known as “upwards delegation.” I have to admit I’ve been guilty of putting off chores so long that my hubbie did them for me.
That’s my short list. Did you see yourself in any of these excuses for procrastination? Next time you find yourself procrastinating see if you can figure out why. It’s actually pretty enlightening.
How do you tell the difference between an insecure thought or feeling that you should ignore and an intuitive thought or feeling that has emerged to protect and guide you?
Here’s a few basic hints to help you tell when what you are feeling is insecurity and fear based and when it is your intuition kicking in trying to get your attention.
1.) Insecurity is usually a head game. It can start in the body, such as when your heart starts pounding when you’re nervous about something, but it quickly moves into your head and the chatter begins. People refer to this as monkey mind. It’s when you can’t seem to quiet the thoughts down and they’re all negative and undermining.
Intuition usually starts in the body as a gut feeling but it can also be words that seem to appear out of nowhere. No matter how hard you try to shake off the feeling it won’t budge. Your body knows what it feels and if you can put it into words the words are simple and firm, not messy or snarky.
2.) Insecurity feels heavy and is an energy drainer. It makes you want to shrink and play small. Intuition feels light and is an energy giver. Even when you face something that is stressful or scary you have a deep sense of trust that it’s going to be ok and that trust gives you the energy to act.
3.) Insecurity triggers the past and you find yourself remembering and comparing previous experiences which have influence over what you are feeling now. Intuition, on the other hand, is a present moment experience that doesn’t seem to be influenced by the past or even present contradictory facts. You know what you know and feel what you feel and it needs no explanation or justification.
4.) Insecurity triggers an amygdala response which is that part of the brain that gives us a fight or flight response. Insecurity makes you feel like you want to argue your case. Argue for your limitations. Intuition on the other hand is more apt to trigger curiosity and questions that bring more clarification. Insecurity seeks excuses. Intuition seeks truth.
5.) Insecurity is reactionary and intense, almost manic and defensive. Intuition can be reactionary as well but the reaction time is slower, calmer and feels grounded. Intuition doesn’t feel like it needs to defend itself. It can take opposition and remain standing.
6.) Insecurity makes you feel like your battle is “out there” and how you feel has everything to do with the external and your comfort level. Intuition brings you inward and the battle is between your higher self that wants to protect you vs your higher self that wants you to grow. The external trigger is irrelevant. It’s all about what is ultimately best for your highest good even if that requires action that is uncomfortable.
7.) When faced with limited information insecurity jumps in and fills in the blanks. It needs a story, a narrative for explanation. Intuition is ok with mystery and the unexplained.
So next time you have one of those moments when you feel unsure of yourself or you face making a difficult decision or do something that is a little scary use some of these criteria to determine is this my own insecurities talking or maybe it’s my intution giving me some guidance.
Have you ever felt like Murphy’s Law has taken over your life? You know, those times in life where you are overwhelmed to the max and if anything can go wrong it will. You’re hit hard from all sides where it’s one unexpected snafu after another, unintended consequences, Mercury is in perpetual retrograde, and perfect timing meant that everything stopped working at the SAME TIME.
You feel there is a force out there trying to get the best of you and it begins to affect your attitude, energy, momentum or even your health. You feel so overwhelmed and want to throw in the towel, saying “Ok world. You win. I give up.”
But is there such a thing as Murphy’s Law? If so where did it come from? What is the power behind Murphy’s Law?
Believe it or not Murphy’s Law is real. Here’s the interesting backstory…
The original Murphy’s Law was coined back in 1949 at Edwards Air Force Base. It was named after Capt. Edward A Murphy who was an engineer working on an Air Force Project designed to see how much sudden deceleration a person can stand in a crash and survive.
One day, after finding that a transducer was wired incorrectly he cursed the technician responsible for the error and said, “If there is any way to do it wrong, he’ll find it.” And the birth of the original Murphy’s law was born.
Over the years other “laws” have been added to the list. Here are a few:
Upon careful scrutiny you will find another law lurking in the background that is actually at the core of the power behind Murphy’s Law. That is the Law of Attraction. What it really comes down to is where you focus your energy and your expectation is what determines what you will get in return. Like attracts like. Momentum comes from sustain focused energy. If you want something different then intentionally shift your energy in a different direction to change your perspective.
If you want to avoid Murphy’s Law from being ruler over your life, then you need to intentionally shift your thoughts and change your perspective. Use the power of the Law of Attraction to give Murphy’s Law a new twist with the following perspectives:
If you approach each day with these new twists on Murphy’s Law, you’ll find that overwhelm is a thing of the past for everything is working out as it should and all is well.